Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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