your thong is hanging out like whoa
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
