I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Your tits are I can't wait for
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The uberlube is also flammable
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
