Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
