he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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