I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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