i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
