I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
