I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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