Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize