I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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