it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
