A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
