do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
