He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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