I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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