you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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