i think i have two assholes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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