i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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