i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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