i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
