The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
