break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
