I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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