what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize