please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize