now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
