How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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