Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
