no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
