I'd wear matching sweaters with you
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
