someone get that fucking seahorse.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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