It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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