There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
