so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i was born a porn star she said
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
