Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
