I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
