May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
