And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
