there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize