The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
