So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
