Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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