Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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