I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
