god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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