lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
