Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize