Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
