we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
