oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize