Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
