No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Never underestimate the power of titties
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