It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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