Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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