jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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