Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
