Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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