your thong is hanging out like whoa
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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