god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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