If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
A bitchslap is in order.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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